So wonderful beauty that God has given, until this moment I can joke with every bliss that I have. About you and be with you, I'm always bombarded with a sweet smile that is so sincere from you. I always expect the time to stop when I'm with you. Holding hands with a steady foot into the light of life will progressively light glare. I wish I could repeat more sense of that day. How I could only be grateful for the gift of God that is so kindly giving happiness to useless to us.
But again,
that's just what happened several years ago. When
you're still here,
still accompanied my day with such great spirit to stay with me.
I always repeat my way to get
your attention every time you're busy with your own business. At
that time, I always succeed to
get love, even though you sometimes look so upset because I made you even pay attention to me alone. But,
now all changed.
Since you came back to the God a year ago,
the fog was still covering my smile.
At that time
we were enjoying the way back to the city where we
live. I'm
trying to reach my
phone lying on
a sofa behind the
car. I tried reaching out, but damn.
You were with a small gap that trying to reach my phone
watching me until when I got back to my seat,
a truck passing leads us to
the forward car accident so tragic for
me recalled back. I
saw you covered in blood at the time. I was about five feet away from you is reversed in the car.
I could not do
anything about it. All I could do is seeing you from my place and tried to shout your
name as loud as possible.
But again unlucky.
A voice so strong I tried to remove it from my throat finally could not instigated.
Until more people are
swarming around us and after that blackened my sight until
I forget things after
that.
After that, all I remember
is the first time I opened
my eyes I saw that it
was only a white roof.
Sure enough, this
is hospitals. Oh, no ... Where is he? Where's my
sweetheart? You know, when I started powered remember him, I tried to turn his head toward my right. All
I saw was my father
stood beside my best friend. I'm still not able to say that I took it out of my mouth only afford a small sigh seemed to have tired of waiting.Their faces
are so scary.
As if to keep me unconscious. definitely, after that I was holding my father's hand,
as if asking for an explanation of all this.
I hate
honesty. I covered my ears did not want to hear
anything else they say. Tears dripped chubby cheeks.
The tears that yesterday had
me spend time with her happy tears. I was upset
with many things. Especially with God.
What else You want? Can not You just let me be happy for a moment.
Until finally You dispose of that happiness. Immediately
I was so very angry with the
God. I
became his servant that is so pagan. Dirty up
my mind I was struggling trying to pull out the IV that is embedded in my right arm.
The incident
I'll never remember back. At least, that's my
promise to him when I attended his funeral.
I was weak, I was covered in
black cloth on my head.
With that I wear sunglasses
to cover my eyes because the bruises would not stop crying and sitting in a wheelchair not
because I could not walk.
I promise I will never be
as happy as with
you anymore. I can not. And really could not.
I became
a person who is so pathetic. I spent
my days just to paint the sky outside the window.
My friend can not afford
it with my behavior. She finally took me to an orphanage.
At first I did not
understand the desire.
Until the third time we were there I understood her point.
She wanted me
as strong as that children.
So I was just hiding behind its thick black clouds that had been fool me. My love will be happy there too. Well, he reasoned
carry the name of love.
I know his intentions
so well. Until finally I tried to get up and start painting for the children.
Since that
day I started to build up my life again. I started
actively attending school painting again.
I started learning about the social life I had never thought of before. I became more
open and slowly being
myself the first,
although there is a
black hole in my heart. Every month, I always go to his grave. I
pray that he's be happy there too and also
tell a lot about
my life now.
Since the
lessons of my life that
I began to brave
to learn the new
things, try to release
the shadows of my
love began to pass. I
consider it to be a black fog of my past. I began to
fill my days with rainbow. But I always remember my promise to him. I would
still love him. Remain always and will never
change.
Sadness
and tears those are my life lessons.
I'm trying to survive, although I would fall
I will not know, until I tried it. :)
I'm trying to survive, although I would fall
I will not know, until I tried it. :)
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